Rebecca Haden, A Plus Educational
Some school supply stores get quiet about now. The one I work for is different. We have toys and games, so we get to participate in the Christmas shopping rush.
For all my fellow retail mavens, I offer this handy guide to Christmas shoppers:
The Delighted Chirper
This shopper is usually seen in October, happily chirping over some toy that will be perfect for her grandchild. By now, this shopper will have sent out her cards and put her wrapped gifts under the tree, and will have begun baking cookies. If you’re lucky, she’ll bring some in for us, too, and play a round of Blokus with the staff, creating extra demand for a game that can make somebody that happy.
The Frazzled Mom
This shopper can be recognized by a certain wildness around the eyes. Oh, and the children she’s dragging along, at least some of whom will be crying even before they get smacked. She may run through several credit cards, forget how to spell her name when she’s trying to write a check, or cry. The best plan for this shopper is to keep chocolate under the counter and slip her some.
The Pinchfaced Haggler
This shopper may not be pinchfaced at all, but may cause you to become pinchfaced as he jovially shouts “How low will you go?” and points out imagined flaws in the merchandise. If you can keep your good humor throughout the transaction, he may buy his gifts with you. The pinchfaced variety will keep fussing while you wrap everything up, so you might as well just hum Christmas carols to yourself and ignore it.
The Clueless Uncle
Sometimes this shopper is an aunt, or a grandfather or something, but a general air of helplessness and uncertainty about children is always a primary characteristic. You see this shopper frowning slightly and waving a 5-piece puzzle around saying, “Would this be a good choice for a twelve year old?” This shopper should have something appropriate placed firmly in his grateful grasp.
The Bountiful Giftgiver
This shopper is businesslike, sharing his gift list with you and accepting your excellent suggestions. By the time he leaves, possibly with a line of store staff following behind him carrying bags of goodies to his vehicle, you will feel better about Christmas shoppers in general.
The Child
Little children who have saved up their allowances in order to buy their brothers and sisters a carefully-selected assortment of tiny presents should be welcomed heartily and allowed to spend all the time they need making these important decisions. With your support, they will become the best Christmas shoppers of all when they grow up.
